He Said, She Said

I feel the need to debunk the last post. With sentences like

"I figured if Tiff says she's done, why can't I be done?" and

"Tiff's already eating meat, claiming we started early and her thirty days are up."

John's insinuating that I've finagled my way out of this veggie-deal. But we agreed to 30 days without meat, and that's just what I did. No meat at all... not even, say, a sausage biscuit or a chicken taquito, which if any one's confused, is why John is still on the challenge... His 30 days were extended because of his little slip up...

That said, being able to eat meat really isn't all that exciting or wonderful. I'm more excited about when John is able to join me. It's no fun eating something delicious when the person with you can't enjoy it, too. I had grand plans for my first day back to normal... I was going to go get a Jamaican Jerk Chicken Pizza from the California Pizza Kitchen, mmm. But, that would've been too cruel, and instead, when the day arrived, I ended up cooking meatless chicken sandwiches.

All in all, this challenge wasn't bad. There are so many other options besides meat, that I didn't feel very challenged at all most of the time. I don't feel any different either... no more/less energy, no weight gain/loss, no weird cravings like the eggsperiment... it was pretty uneventful for me.

In a nutshell:

Positives: Fake Chicken, Veggie-Burgers, John ate mushrooms (gasp!), Subway's veggie subs, and roasted red pepper soup.
Negatives: Soy-dogs, tofu was not good enough to keep eating, and bad things like Pizza Pockets, Chips & Dip, and Cream Puffs made their way into our kitchen, which we would never have bought otherwise and will probably never buy again afterwards...

I'm hoping (and I think I'm going to get my wish) that November's challenge will be.... more challenging. We've got it all planned out, but I'll wait for John to "officially" announce it. It's going to be a tough one for us both!

The Home Stretch

I didn't mean to stall of the updates, sorry, but I am painfully close to eating meat again.

Tiff's already eating meat, claiming we started early and her thirty days are up. She has yet to truly take advantage of it yet though. We went out to eat on her last day as a vegetarian at some fancy seafood place with some friends. Tiff got chicken pasta without the chicken and I got Diablo Shrimp Pasta. Even without eating the devil's shrimp it was hot enough to clear the sinuses. I only ate half of it, although I didn't touch the shrimp, and took the rest home. Tiff's first meaty meal was the shrimp at about 12:30 that night.

Shrimp's not exactly the meatiest of meats and I didn't want any, so it was not quite the story of temptation that I had envisioned.

A couple days later we got breakfast at a buffet. I will admit the piles of sausage and bacon that Tiff got - I think just to wave under my nose - looked pretty good. Tiff left some on her plate as she got up. I picked it up and smelled it with the idea of tasting it. I figured if Tiff says she's done, why can't I be done? It smelled like it should, but it went from appetizing to a bit stomach turning as it got under my eyes. My first meat will definitely not include bacon fat.

To be honest, I'm not sure what I'll eat. A few weeks ago, the thought of grilled chicken made my mouth water, but now, not so much. I am eager to stop worrying about what I'm eating, but right now, nothing sounds good.

Veggie Burgers

I finally got around to eating veggie burgers.

You know, they're really not bad. I think Tiff likes them more than hamburgers, which I have to disagree. Nothing beats a thick, juicy hamburger straight off the grill. But they are not nearly as bad as I was thinking. Plus, we, well Tiff, cooked them on the Foreman, which for some reason makes a big difference to me.

I'm learning the trick with these meatless meats is small bites. Actually, the thing about them is the same problem I have with some vegetables: there's just a mental block. It's simple logic, if you think you won't like it, you won't like it.

So while I'm not a veggie burger convert, I think it's a pretty big success that I ate it happily. I may be a portobello mushroom sandwich convert, though. I really think I'd eat that over most other sandwiches.

Walking Towards Cancer

...or is it away from cancer?

Last weekend I went for a walk with Tiff and her aunt, Carrell... and 5000 strangers. We participated in Manassas's annual cancer walk, Light the Night, and while there was some definite hokiness to it, it was truly very cool. They gave everyone a balloon with a light in it and sent us marching as a giant horde of cancer-aware hooligans through the streets. The walk took about an hour, and it was a pretty leisurely pace, so while it does indeed count for our makeover sacrifice, I think it would take a lot more than that to make this beast into a beauty - uh, meaning me. Unfortunately, the pictures didn't come out too well:
but whenever we crested a hill, however small it may be, we could see a red path lit up before us winding through the neighborhoods. It had a surprisingly neat sensation, like I was actually a part of something.

Every walker was suppose to raise money to support the cause. People who raised a thousand dollars got a long-sleeve t-shirt! Tiff and I didn't raise any money. We joined at the last minute.

The event had a few sponsors, so as the thousands of jolly participants ended their Lite-Brite adventure they were greeted by a man dressed as a cow giving out Chik-Fil-A chicken sandwiches. Oh, how a nice tender chicken sandwich would have tasted then. I was tempted, especially after already failing, but we veered instead into a near-by Subway right before close, and I had my first veggie sub. It wasn't bad. Meat can add a nice flavor, but the veggie sub's after-effect was excellent. I felt good afterwards; I was satisfied. Nothing beats a Saturday night spent walking in circles and eating a salad on a bun.

Big shout out to Carrell for both setting us up with the cancer walk and for making a true sacrifice by giving up cigarettes.

Dead Sea Sales Pitch

Tiff and I had a strange encounter with a thickly-accented salesman the other day at the mall. He commented about his accent, so I took the bait and asked what type of accent it is. He challenged me to guess.

The accent was unfamiliar but I guessed Mediterranean simply based on the large patch of chest hair that was proudly on display from under his collar. He suddenly became enthusiastic, pushing me to a more specific guess. I knew it was wrong, but I guessed Italy, which seemed to punch a blow in his appreciation of me. But he quickly rebounded.

"No, it's a small country in the Middle East." Oh - I replied - you're from Lebanon.

I should have known by the large display of Dead Sea beauty products behind him that he was from Israel A little different than Lebanon. If my guess Italy was a punch, this was a knock-out blow, and the guy never addressed me again, with the rest of the pitch going to Tiff. I figure at least I didn't say Palestine.

His stuff looked pretty good though. My mom sent me the always fun package of lord-knows-what for my birthday last year that included a man's bath kit of Dead Sea products and I really like them all. One of his items was a nail shiner block. He shined Tiff's pinky nail to a pretty impressive gleam.

We found a similar shiner block at Wal-Mart for $1.99. Savings - $78.

Haircut All-Stars

I am notorious for waiting to get my hair cut. Notice the subtitle here. I used to not be so bad about it, but then I let it grow out one year - the year I met Tiff - and ever since then have let it grow weeks past the time that it looks bad to the point where it looks embarrassing. This time around was no different.
I usually get my hair chopped off all at once. What I mean is that I get my hair cut too short and then after a few weeks of growing, it's the length I like. That's why I'm getting my hair cut now, in hopes that in two months I will have perfect length curls and change my name to Samson.

This trip to the barber was not noteworthy by any means. Although when the barber asked me how long I wanted it, I said simply, "shorter," and then looked around and pointed out a guy waiting to get his hair cut and said, "about that long."
Tiff's hair hasn't changed all that much in the time that I've known her. She also got her haircut recently. Whereas my barber seemed to be more concerned with whatever myth was being busted on the Discovery Channel at the time, Tiff went to a fancy place. She had been talking about taking drastic measures with her hair for a few weeks. So with a picture of the one and only Nicole Ritchie in hand, my beautiful bride left the apartment like this.
I was a little nervous to say the least. When she came home, eight hours later, she had half the hair but was twice as beautiful. Look at her now!

"Oh! No!"

I'm not sure what happened.

I was at work. I stayed for a meeting. I had planned to run out to Starbuck's to help me stay awake through the meeting, but my relief never showed so I worked with the kids for the hour and a half before the meeting started. I took the kids to breakfast. They were eating breakfast. There was a plate laid out for me. I was talking to the kids.

I'm not sure how it happened.

I just wasn't thinking. I took a biscuit off the plate. It had been a while since I had these biscuits, and Jane cooked them right. They weren't burnt at all, cooked through completely, and still moist from what looked like butter. I split one open with my thumbs. Steam poured out. There were two sausage patties. I picked one up with my fork. I put it on the biscuit. I sank my teeth into it. I remember looking at it, thinking how good it tasted.

I can't believe it happened.

So I get to my meeting just before it starts. There is food laying out. As always it's a weird mix of breakfast and dessert. The strawberry cheesecake, ham-and-cheese breakfast burritos, crackers and cheese, spicy chicken taquitos, and strawberry cheesecake all lined up. Thinking about my upcoming beach wedding, I pass over the strawberry cheesecake and take one spicy chicken taquito, and take a seat. I bite into it as my boss starts the meeting. I look down the table at someone's half-eaten taquito and start to wonder what exactly is in them. And then the truth circled around my head for a minute.

"Oh! No!"

I said it in slow motion. I was loud enough to stop the meeting. Everyone turned, looking at me, as a large piece of chicken-filled food rested noticeably in my mouth. I swallowed down the bite of food. And sheepishly explained, "I'm a vegetarian."

Three weeks as a vegetarian. Three weeks with my diet on the forefront of my mind. Three weeks of thinking both "I can do this!" and "Why am I doing this?" at the same time. Three weeks ruined by one morning of absent-mindedness. I failed. Not only did I fail, but I failed with shipped-in shelter food. I am so mad at myself. I cannot put into words how mad I am at myself. And more than mad, I'm disappointed in myself. This is my first sacrifice and I can't do it. I am pathetic.

So now what? The challenge was for a month, the month of October, and I intend on finishing out the month as a vegetarian. But, that doesn't feel like enough. I feel like I should have to recite the rosary of vegetables, but I don't know what that would be. I think what I will do is, come November first we will get a big meaty meal somewhere as planned and only Tiffany can end her sacrifice of meat, and I will look on, for at least one extra day.

So mad at myself.